Take A break .........A very funny joke

Cool One .....



Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American, "You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I

haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to

marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have hell of a lot of family problems."



The American said, "Talking about love marriages... . . . . . . I'll tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.

However, after a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter

and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.

My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother

and so he is my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son.

Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson.

Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson.



And you say you have family problems... . . . . .



Take a break!!!!"

पहला गधा (दूसरे गधे से)- यार मैं जिस धोबी के यहां काम करता हूं वो मुझे बहुत मारता हैं।
दूसरा गधा (पहले गधे से)- तू वहां से भाग क्यों नही जाता।
पहला गधा- क्या बताऊं यार धोबी की एक बेटी है, वो जब भी शरारत करती है तो धोबी कहता है कि तेरी शादी किसी गधे के कर दूंगा। बस ये सोच कर रूका हुआ हूं।

Bollywood Pics.

Weapon Fun

yaad

हिचकियों से एक बात का पता चलता है,
कि कोई हमे याद तो करता है,
बात न करे तो क्या हुआ,
कोई आज भी हम पर कुछ लम्हे बरबाद तो करता है
ज़िंदगी हमेशा पाने के लिए नही होती,
हर बात समझाने के लिए नही होती,
याद तो अक्सर आती है आप की,
लकिन हर याद जताने के लिए नही होती
महफिल न सही तन्हाई तो मिलती है,
मिलन न सही जुदाई तो मिलती है,
कौन कहता है मोहब्बत में कुछ नही मिलता,
वफ़ा न सही बेवफाई तो मिलती है
कितनी जल्दी ये मुलाक़ात गुज़र जाती है
प्यास भुजती नही बरसात गुज़र जाती है
अपनी यादों से कह दो कि यहाँ न आया करे
नींद आती नही और रात गुज़र जाती है
उमर की राह मे रस्ते बदल जाते हैं,
वक्त की आंधी में इन्सान बदल जाते हैं,
सोचते हैं तुम्हें इतना याद न करें,
लेकिन आंखें बंद करते ही इरादे बदल जाते हैं
कभी कभी दिल उदास होता है
हल्का हल्का सा आँखों को एहसास होता है
छलकती है मेरी भी आँखों से नमी
जब तुम्हारे दूर होने का एहसास होता है

Actress Pics..

Kids Think Quik

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : Maria!
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
TEACHER : John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before
eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.

Health Tips.........Its very helpful for your health.....Read It

• Don't put your mobile closer to your ears until the recipient answers, Because directly after dialing, the mobile phone would use it's maximum signaling power, which is: 2watts = 33dbi. Please Be Careful. Please use left ear while using cell (mobile), because if you use the right one it may affect brain directly. This is a true fact from Apollo medical team.


• Do not drink APPY FIZZ . It contains cancer causing agent.


• Don't eat Mentos before or after drinking Coke or Pepsi coz the person will die immediately as the mixture becomes cyanide. Please fwd to whom u care.


• Don't eat kurkure because it contains high amount of plastic if U don't Believe burn kurkure n u can see plastic melting. Please forward to all!!!!!!!!! !! News report from Times of India.


• Avoid these tablets as they are very dangerous:
1. D-Cold
2. Vicks action-500
3. Actified
4. Coldarin
5. Co some
6. Nice
7. Nimulid
8. Cetrizet-D


• They contain Phenyl- Propanol -Amide PPA.Which Causes strokes, and these tablets are banned in U.S.


• Cotton Ear Buds... (Must read it) Please do not show sympathy to people selling buds on roadside or at Signals by buying their ear buds (instead you can give them money without taking their ear buds)..... Just wanted to warn you people not to buy those packs of ear buds you get at the roadside. Those were made from cotton that has already been used in hospitals. They take all the dirty, blood and pus filled cotton, wash it, bleach it and use it to make ear buds. So, unless you want to become the first person in the world to get Herpes Zoster Oticus (a viral infection of the inner, middle, and external ear) of the ear and that too from a cotton bud, DON'T BUY THEM!

Mix Pics.

Hidden Blue Tooth In Xp n Vista

Now you don't need 2 install any software for ur blutooth device.you don't know but u already

had it in ur window xp nd vista it can b used as:-

1.open d run command

2.now typ 'fsquirt' without quotes

3.now just select either u want 2 send or receive any file very easy.

Enjoy

By

GURU

Scientific Instruments

1) Aerometer : Instrument for measuring weight and density of air and gases.

2) Altimeter : Instrument used in aircraft to measure altitude.

3) Ammeter : Instrument used to measure electrical current flowing in a circuit.

4) Anemometer : Instrument to measure the force and velocity of wind.

5) Audiometer : Instrument to measure intensity of sound.

6) Barometer : Instrument used to measure the atmospheric pressure.

7) Calorimeter : Instrument used for measuring quantities of heat.

8) Cardiogram : A medical instrument for tracing heart movements.

9) Crescograph : Instrument for use in recording growth of plants.

10) Dynamo : Instrument for transforming mechanical energy into electrical energy.

11) Fathometer : Instrument used for measuring depth of the ocean.

12) Geiger Counter : Instrument for recording the amount of radiation emitted by a source of radio-activity.

13) Hydrometer : Instrument used for measuring the specific gravity of liquids

14) Hydrophone : Instrument used for recording sound under water

15) Hygrometer : Instrument for measuring the amount of water vapours (humidity) in the atmosphere.

16) Kymograph : Instrument used to record graphically various physiological movements i.e., blood pressure,heart beating, study of lungs etc. in living beings.

17) Lactometer : Aparatus used for measuring the purity of milk.

18) Manometer : Apparatus used for determining the pressure of a gas.

19) Odometer : Instrument by which the distance covered by wheeled vehicles is recorded.

20) Oscillograph : Instrument for recording electrical or mechanical vibrations.

21) Photometer : Apparatus used to compare the illuminating power of two sources of light.

22) Pyrometer : Instrument for recording high temperatures froma great distance.

23) Radiometer : Instrument for measuring the emission of radiant energy.

24) Rain gauge : Apparatus for recording of rainfall at a particular piece.

25) Refractometer : Instrument to measure refractive indices.

26) Saccharimeter : Instrument for determining the amount of sugar in a solution.

27) Sextant : An optical instrument used for finding out the altitude of celestial bodies and their angular distances.

28) Sphygmomanometer : Instrument used for measuring arterial bolld- pressure.

29) Spherometer : Instrument for measuring curvature of surfaces.

30) Seismograph : Instrument used for recording earthquake shocks.

31) Tachometer : Instrument for determining speeds of aeroplanes and motor boats.

32) Thermostat : Instrument used to regulate the temperature to a particular degree.

33) Transformer : An electrical apparatus used to convert high voltage to low and vice versa

Jokes

Here is something to relieve your TENSIONS.... ....


.Chuha Billi se darta hai, Billi Kutte se darti hai, Kutta Aadmi se darta hai, Aadmi Biwi se darta hai, Biwi Chuhhe se darti hai!
Duniya gol hai....

Ek macchar ek takle ke sar par ja baita... Doosra macchar bola: Waha kya ghar dunda hai.. Pehla macchar bola: Ghar kaha re abi to sirf plot kharida hai...

Boy to girl: Hey, if I climb this coconut tree, I can see engineering college girls. Girl: Leave both the hands from the tree top and you can see medical college girls.

Judge: Is sardar ke dono kan kaat do. Sardar: Nahin main andha ho jaunga. Judge: Kaan katne se andha kaise honge? Sardar: Chashma kya tere baap ke kan pe bethaunga?

Sardarji went to his neighbour's house for a function and had some snacks. Sardar: Chakli ka taste bahut hi different hai! Neighbour: Who chakli nahi, Mosquito coil hai !

Teacher: You idiot! At your age Einstein was ranked 1st in class. What about you? Student: Sir, at your age Hitler committed suicide! What about you?!

Ek sharabi mar hi raha ta tab Bhagwan pratyaksh hoke usse poocha: "Koi antim ichcha?' Sharabi: Aagle janam me ek liver extra laga dena!